The Blue Sucking Machine of Death

First off, let me say how much I love my husband. One of the best gifts I've ever received-- EVER EVER--was a horse grooming vacuum. I LOVE my vacuum. I've had it for about 4-5 years now and I am still in love with it.

This is the model vacuum I have

Of course, there are some horses that call it the Blue Sucking Machine of Death and will run backwards down a barn aisle at 50mph when it's switched on. Most of my horses and client horses have been completely fine with it and are happy to stand there, winter hair 2-3 inches long, static electricity jealously clinging on to every dusty molecule of hair, and be rubbed up and down with the teeth from the grooming attachment on the vacuum. They get a little nervous when it's up near their ears, or when the hose brushes against their legs, or when the blue body of the vacuum on wheels moves unexpectedly. But when your horse decides in the middle of winter to grind their coat into the mud at their favorite rolling spot with the fervor of a lotto winner cashing in their ticket, it's the only tool that really works to get the dirt out of their underfluff. It's also AWESOME if you have a horse in training that has a short hair coat and is blanketed/clipped during the winter and has dandruff. It's about the only grooming tool that can suck the dirt out of a coat AND fight static all at once. The grooming attachment on the end has teeth that will break up the worst caked on mud...they actually say to NOT curry the horse ahead of time (to cut down on the static electricity issue) and just attack the horse with the vacuum. I've found they're right! And to finish it off, I use a rehydrant spray after grooming to moisten the coat during the dryest winters.

So, late one night while Anne-Marie was prepping feed and bringing horses in, I decided to try the vacuum for the first time with Tiki. Joe, knowing my intentions, just walked out of the barn and asked that Anne-Marie calls 911 BEFORE him so they would at least already be on the way. Silly man! Both Anne-Marie and I had confidence Tiki would be just fine :-) . Back when Mona was growing up, I'd vacuum her regularly. It had been at least a year since she had seen the vacuum. While Mona and Tiki were munching away at hay, I set up the vacuum outside the stall and ran the hose through the bars. I fired it up and the horses barely flicked an ear. I walked into the stall, started to groom Tiki with a brush, and then grabbed the hose and started vacuuming Mona. Tiki watched with a tipped head like a puppy who's heard an odd sound and let her curiosity get the best of her. She inserted herself between Mona and I and started nibbling on the hose. I wasn't shocked, she really hates when another horse gets ANY attention--especially her mother! After no time at all, I was scrubbing her with the vacuum, turned to high, with no problems. As I was vacuuming her forehead and giggling, I yelled over the din to Anne-Marie "Did you call the paramedics?" and she laughed and yelled back "Yeah, the ambulance is already on the way!"

Once the horses were comfortable with me scrubbing all over them with the vacuum hose, I had Anne open up the stall door and bring the whole body of the vacuum in to the stall. With it noisily whirring away, Tiki walked right up to it and put her nose down to it and sniffed. After pawing a couple times at it, she came right back over to continue being groomed. Amazingly, even though I started snaking the hose over Mona's back, between Tiki's legs, and generally had it intertwined all around them and the stall while scrubbing away at them, they completely did not care. They happily munched on hay, free in the stall, while the vacuum whined away right by their heads.

After they were sparkling clean, I put the vacuum away and Anne-Marie and I talked about how wonderfully laidback the horses were about the entire experience. While it truly wasn't a surprise on how well behaved both of them were, it still made a mom's heart proud!